Today has been one of those days when I wonder why God chose me! I sat in various seminars and lectures and heard others comments and questions and felt so inadequate. To add to that we were given some more information about the MA and the first essay/portfolio which we are to do on Theological Reflection. I'm doing the MA because I already have a degree in Religious and Moral Studies and have also completed and Certificate in Theology and Vocation 3 years ago. So I thought the MA was the obvious next thing. Now I'm really struggling to get to grips with what is expected. I felt so inadequate today.
But God is so good.
I went along to evening prayer which was the first creative evening prayer of the term and we had a time of silence with various prayer stations to go to. One I went to had a number of mirrors and Psalm 139. As I prayed the psalm in front of a mirror I became aware of God reassuring me that He knew me, knew my failings and still He called me to follow him and serve Him. I returned to my place and prayed over and over- Spirit of the Living God fall afresh on me. As I did I saw a waterfall and felt God telling me that the Spirit of God was there I just needed to move and position myself- not behind it looking through the spirit to the world beyond, not in the world being splashed occasionally but fully under the water of the Spririt and receive a full annointing and blessing of all He has for me.
As I said god is so good.