As I sit typing a new neighbour is moving into the flat in the next block. She isn't the first- two other couples moved into my block last week. This time last year I was preparing to move, preparing for a whole change of life. Today I watch others making that move and reflect on how my life has changed. I've spent the last two days closeted in the library reading and making notes on qualitative research methods. I'm not that interested but must complete an essay of 3000 words on a research method before getting started on my dissertation. This time last year I was looking forward to the studying, to learning how to be a vicar, and to making new friends. This year I'm struggling with the studying- only because there is always far more interesting things I'd rather be doing, I Love all the practical learning to be a vicar, and would love to spend some time at the moment just being rather than doing. I'm still looking forward to making new friends amongst those who are now moving into college, and looking forward in the coming month to renewing my friendships with those who have been away back to their families during the summer.
As new people arrive I'm reminded again of the many friends who left this summer and are now settling into their new role as a curate. It has been great hearing the many stories and the joy of those who have already started. I'm waiting to be asked to consider a title post- and patience is a virtue I have always struggled with. In a years time this college will be continuing, those who are new this year will be waiting for new arrivals and many of us will have moved on. The cycle of life continues and we all have our place. I need to remember to enjoy the place God has placed me in now- including the studying, knowing that at times in the future I will look back we nostalgia and longing for the opportunities I have now.
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Time
As I said in my last post a month is no time at all. I've now been back a week and had all sort of plans as to the work I would get done- but time has passed by and little has been done. That's not to say I've been sat doing nothing. One of the problems has been deciding what to write about. Decisions on essay titles made a couple of months ago- or even longer seemed irrelevant and boring now and I came back from placement with so many other ideas I wanted to explore. fortunately my tutor is around college working this week so I was able to set up a meeting with her and have now sorted out new titles and a plan of work for the enxt 6 weeks. Now I'm reorganising my reading to make sense of the new subjects.
Time and its passing has been on my mind for other reasons. A year ago I was on the Isle of Wight with my son having a few days holiday before starting to pack for the move north. The time since has seemed to fly by and yet at the same time that time on the IOW seems a life time ago. I suspect its because I've changed as the year has gone on and so it feels as if it happened to a different person. This time next year i will be a curate working in my first title parish- and at the moment I have no idea where that will be. each morning I eagerly await the postman in the hope that he will bring em the elusive letter inviting me to contact an prospective training incumbent. So far I've been disappointed. Yesterday as I walked back from locking up the village church I found my self singing a very old song- from my first days as a student- The words are
In your time Lord in your
I will wait and not be anxious at the time
And though some prayers I've prayed may seem unanswered yet
I will wait and not be anxious at the time
In your time Lord in your time
It obviously came out of my subconscious as I haven't sung it for years ( and probably have some of the words wrong anyway) but it was at the heart of my prayer yesterday. Time is passing but god will bring it all to pass in His time- not mine. A lesson you would think I had learned by now.
Yesterday was also a wonderful time of meeting up with a friend who was ordained 5 weeks ago. it was a real joy to hear him share about his experience as a curate and settling into a new life and home.
So off to make a start on the reading for my essays. I'll be back when I've made some progress :)
Time and its passing has been on my mind for other reasons. A year ago I was on the Isle of Wight with my son having a few days holiday before starting to pack for the move north. The time since has seemed to fly by and yet at the same time that time on the IOW seems a life time ago. I suspect its because I've changed as the year has gone on and so it feels as if it happened to a different person. This time next year i will be a curate working in my first title parish- and at the moment I have no idea where that will be. each morning I eagerly await the postman in the hope that he will bring em the elusive letter inviting me to contact an prospective training incumbent. So far I've been disappointed. Yesterday as I walked back from locking up the village church I found my self singing a very old song- from my first days as a student- The words are
In your time Lord in your
I will wait and not be anxious at the time
And though some prayers I've prayed may seem unanswered yet
I will wait and not be anxious at the time
In your time Lord in your time
It obviously came out of my subconscious as I haven't sung it for years ( and probably have some of the words wrong anyway) but it was at the heart of my prayer yesterday. Time is passing but god will bring it all to pass in His time- not mine. A lesson you would think I had learned by now.
Yesterday was also a wonderful time of meeting up with a friend who was ordained 5 weeks ago. it was a real joy to hear him share about his experience as a curate and settling into a new life and home.
So off to make a start on the reading for my essays. I'll be back when I've made some progress :)
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Back to internet access
Well my four weeks placement is finished and I've also had three days away in Devon for a friends licensing service.
Placement was wonderful. Everyone I speak to who has been on summer placement says the same- they don';t want to leave. It's what we are called to do and so we find ourselves fulfilled and living life to the full as we serve in a new place. Of course a month is no time at all. I was just getting to know people and being known when it was time to move back to Oxford. It was also of course very much a honeymoon period when there was little time to do anything wrong so reports back have all been very positive.
However I was blessed to be in a group of parishes where life is not all smooth and wonderful and so I was able to see the more difficult aspects of rural ministry. Seeing the reality gave me opportunity to consider how I would cope and deal with difficult situations between people of the village and as such make a more realistic appraisal of what I believe God is calling me to do.
I still came back feeling very reassured and confident that God has called me to rural ministry. I want more than anything though to serve God where ever He wants me.
During the last month I also had an interview with the Bishop and my DDO so I am now waiting to hear from a prospective Training Incumbent. I have to remain patient not a strong virtue of mine.
One other real pleasure of my time in Derbyshire was the opportunity to catch up with friends and family on my day off. I managed to meet up with half a dozen friends during my time there and also to have a couple of evenings with my son and a couple of days with my sister which was lovely.
Now its back to the final two portfolios and a presentation to complete before September then all out for my dissertation for next year.
I hope to blog more now that I'm back but we will see!!!!
Placement was wonderful. Everyone I speak to who has been on summer placement says the same- they don';t want to leave. It's what we are called to do and so we find ourselves fulfilled and living life to the full as we serve in a new place. Of course a month is no time at all. I was just getting to know people and being known when it was time to move back to Oxford. It was also of course very much a honeymoon period when there was little time to do anything wrong so reports back have all been very positive.
However I was blessed to be in a group of parishes where life is not all smooth and wonderful and so I was able to see the more difficult aspects of rural ministry. Seeing the reality gave me opportunity to consider how I would cope and deal with difficult situations between people of the village and as such make a more realistic appraisal of what I believe God is calling me to do.
I still came back feeling very reassured and confident that God has called me to rural ministry. I want more than anything though to serve God where ever He wants me.
During the last month I also had an interview with the Bishop and my DDO so I am now waiting to hear from a prospective Training Incumbent. I have to remain patient not a strong virtue of mine.
One other real pleasure of my time in Derbyshire was the opportunity to catch up with friends and family on my day off. I managed to meet up with half a dozen friends during my time there and also to have a couple of evenings with my son and a couple of days with my sister which was lovely.
Now its back to the final two portfolios and a presentation to complete before September then all out for my dissertation for next year.
I hope to blog more now that I'm back but we will see!!!!
Sunday, 26 June 2011
What it's all about!
Yesterday I had a wonderful day out in Wales. It was one of my friends from college's ordination and so I went to Newport for the service and then on to Monmouth for lunch with his family and friends. there were people from every stage of his life, who had travelled from all over the UK. It was a really inspiring service and I was reminded once again about why I am here. God needs men and women who are willing to serve Him, we all have a role to play and not all will be called to be ordained, but once He has called you there is such a strong pull that it is very difficult to say no. Not that I ever wanted to say no- only are you sure lord?
Well he does seem to be saying yes and so here I am in training and tomorrow I return to Derbyshire for four weeks placement. This is an opportunity to shadow a priest and learn what day to day life of a vicar is really like. I'm really looking forward to all my new experiences and also to being back in Derbyshire- a place I love. I'm not sure what Internet access I will have but if I have regular access I will try to post my reflections as far as I am able.
Well he does seem to be saying yes and so here I am in training and tomorrow I return to Derbyshire for four weeks placement. This is an opportunity to shadow a priest and learn what day to day life of a vicar is really like. I'm really looking forward to all my new experiences and also to being back in Derbyshire- a place I love. I'm not sure what Internet access I will have but if I have regular access I will try to post my reflections as far as I am able.
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Pathways through a curacy
A large parcel arrived yesterday franked with the diocese logo. Great excitement as I opened it wondering if there may be news about a curacy. It turned out to be a large purple file with all I need to know about being a curate in Derby Diocese and a letter inviting me to arrange a meeting with the Bishop. And so it begins! It will be a while yet before I'll know where i shall be, and probably even longer before I'll be free to actually talk about it but at least things are moving.
This week in college is interesting- we are having a themed study week on communicating the Gospel. Today we had to give a three minute talk on a subject which interested us, and we were videoed and then watched the video. We had first go at commenting on ourselves and then everyone else commented. I realised as I watched myself that while my talking was ok I did';t know what to do with my body. As a teacher I always walked around, teaching without notes and often making notes on the board in response to answers the pupils gave me. Then when I started preaching I wasn't confident to preach without notes and so would stand at the pulpit hanging on as if afraid I'd fall over. Comments were made especially as I'm short and can easily end up looking like 'wotno'. So today I tried standing away from the lectern where my notes were. Unfortunately I ended up looking unsure what to do with my hands and moving around without purpose. This gives me an area I must work on.
Now I have just two days of this term left and then its 14 weeks of summer placement, essays and starting work on my dissertation- oh and a weeks holiday in Wales. Life is never boring.
This week in college is interesting- we are having a themed study week on communicating the Gospel. Today we had to give a three minute talk on a subject which interested us, and we were videoed and then watched the video. We had first go at commenting on ourselves and then everyone else commented. I realised as I watched myself that while my talking was ok I did';t know what to do with my body. As a teacher I always walked around, teaching without notes and often making notes on the board in response to answers the pupils gave me. Then when I started preaching I wasn't confident to preach without notes and so would stand at the pulpit hanging on as if afraid I'd fall over. Comments were made especially as I'm short and can easily end up looking like 'wotno'. So today I tried standing away from the lectern where my notes were. Unfortunately I ended up looking unsure what to do with my hands and moving around without purpose. This gives me an area I must work on.
Now I have just two days of this term left and then its 14 weeks of summer placement, essays and starting work on my dissertation- oh and a weeks holiday in Wales. Life is never boring.
Sunday, 12 June 2011
Continuing Students
Well that's it- I'm now officially a continuing student as the previous year group has now left. We had our leaver's service on Friday. As church sacristan it was my duty along with my partner sacristan to set up for the Leavers Eucharist. We seemed to get most things sorted before the service I just forgot to put out the tissues on each pew. I'd been warned that they would be needed but had to go and fetch them at the Peace. The service was both joyful and sad at the same time as we remembered why we are here, blessed the stoles and then all those who were leaving both ordinands and their families. After that the first group left with their furniture vans!
I have a strange fascination with removal vans. I've moved so many times and enjoyed the experience each time so the sight of a furniture van reminds me of those times and often leaves me feeling sad that its not me moving! This time I was reminded that in a year it will be me and will mark the next stage of my training- curacy.
At the moment I'm waiting for THE letter from the diocese to invite me to consider a parish for curacy. Some of our group from one diocese are already in the process. On Thursday I received my college report for checking and comment. I was humbled at what was written but pleased that I seem to have made progress with formation this year.
Now I've got one week left of term- a week in which we begin to consider communicating the Gospel and in particular preaching. Still got a portfolio to finish and then the summer break comes with summer placement, two more portfolios and a presentation! We will have a weeks holiday in Wales as well, and then its back for my final year and a 20,000 dissertation.
I have a strange fascination with removal vans. I've moved so many times and enjoyed the experience each time so the sight of a furniture van reminds me of those times and often leaves me feeling sad that its not me moving! This time I was reminded that in a year it will be me and will mark the next stage of my training- curacy.
At the moment I'm waiting for THE letter from the diocese to invite me to consider a parish for curacy. Some of our group from one diocese are already in the process. On Thursday I received my college report for checking and comment. I was humbled at what was written but pleased that I seem to have made progress with formation this year.
Now I've got one week left of term- a week in which we begin to consider communicating the Gospel and in particular preaching. Still got a portfolio to finish and then the summer break comes with summer placement, two more portfolios and a presentation! We will have a weeks holiday in Wales as well, and then its back for my final year and a 20,000 dissertation.
Thursday, 2 June 2011
Ascension day
At 7.15am I walked between college and the village church for our Ascension day service. As I walked I was struck by the circle of worship which we follow so closely here at college. Just 40 days ago we walked to church in the dawn of Easter morning, the birds singing the sun about to rise. now I walked with the birds singing brightly and the sun already risen on a glorious day. The service was a joyful Eucharist and after the Paschal candle had been extinguished, during the final hymn we processed out into the brilliant morning sunshine for the blessing. We started our Easter service with the lighting of the paschal candle and a procession into church. So here we had come full circle.
It's particularly poignant at the moment to be thinking about the ascension. The time when jesus left his disciples for a second time, this time commissioning them to go out and make disciples of the world. Next week the final year students leave, prepared to go out, to be ordained and to begin their ministry of spreading the Good news. Those left behind take up their mantle of serving and teaching the first years as they arrive in September. For the leavers it is a time of mixed joy and sadness, joy that they are to begin their next stage of life and ministry, sorrow at the friends they are leaving. For those of us left behind we are sorrtowful at our loss and apprehensive, are we up to the mark able to welcome and teach the new ordinands.
Yesterday we had a days retreat, away from college this time. the theme was very much about the ascension and the disciples left behind relating it to our lives now. I was struck by how many times I have had to leave beloved friends behind to move in the call God has for me. have I become immune to the sadness of parting from friends, more secure in the knowledge that those friendships continue? I don;t know but perhaps next week I'll know!
It's particularly poignant at the moment to be thinking about the ascension. The time when jesus left his disciples for a second time, this time commissioning them to go out and make disciples of the world. Next week the final year students leave, prepared to go out, to be ordained and to begin their ministry of spreading the Good news. Those left behind take up their mantle of serving and teaching the first years as they arrive in September. For the leavers it is a time of mixed joy and sadness, joy that they are to begin their next stage of life and ministry, sorrow at the friends they are leaving. For those of us left behind we are sorrtowful at our loss and apprehensive, are we up to the mark able to welcome and teach the new ordinands.
Yesterday we had a days retreat, away from college this time. the theme was very much about the ascension and the disciples left behind relating it to our lives now. I was struck by how many times I have had to leave beloved friends behind to move in the call God has for me. have I become immune to the sadness of parting from friends, more secure in the knowledge that those friendships continue? I don;t know but perhaps next week I'll know!
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