Funerals and other aspects of curacy.

Well the funerals continue to come into our team office and so next week I shall be priveldged to lead one. One thing I've learned above all during this time is that its by the grace of god I will be able to lead- and the power of His Holy Spirit. While at college I did the death Dying and Bereavement course but had almost no funeral experience while on placement. It is of course very dependant on people dying so in one way I'm pleased that I didn't get the expeirience. However when I arrived in my parish I warned my Training Incumbent that I'd had little experience. He assured me that come winter I would get experience. However that experince has come rather quicker. I have been slowly inducted into taking a funeral- allowed to read the scriptures , say prayers etc. Today I worked with a retired priest, which gave em another outlook on funeral ministry. One thing I'm certain of, its an important ministry we offer to anyone in the parish and gives us an opportunity to be Christ to the grieving around us. Next week i am also to inter some ashes on my own- another new thing for me. Its all very exciting and humbling at the same time. And I am always conscious that this work is to be along side those who are suffering and grieving. Other aspects of curacy have included home communions, sick visiting, the planning and taking of services including a family service, this Sunday I shall sing Evensong!( ANd how I wish I'd been brave enough to lead while at college when I had the chance) However we have a very good organist who has patiently helped me prepare. On the more personal friont having become a grandmother 2 weeks ago I've enjoyed spending tiome with my son, his girlfriend and new granddaughter who is beautiful. we have also had chance to meet up for dinner one evening with friends who were at college with us and also starting their curacy in this diocese. that was a great evening of sharing our stories and encouraging one another. Now its time to try and sort out a holiday for the end of September- have been so busy and have left it rather late!

On being a woman, a priest and a grandmother!

I have never considered myself a feminist. no one was more surprised than I was when I felt called to oprdained ministry - because I was a woman and for years I didn't believe women should have a role of leadership in church. Bt God very gently buit very firmly changed my views, and when He called I responded with all my heart. Te long years of preparation have felt well worth it as I've settled into my new role over the last few weeks. I have been welcomed and made to feel wanted. My dog collar as I mentioned in my previous post has been a means of commnunicating with people and I love it. Then today I came up against the reality of being a woman in what is still considered by some to be a male role. We have a spate of funerals and my Training Incumbent has been very gentle in easing me into the taking of funerals. So far I have gone on funeral visits with him and also helped in funerals but not led. With another one on the horizon it was decided I should take the lead. however the family didn't want a female priest. I accepted their decision and my Training Incumbent will take the funeral. I wasn't particualrly upset about it- perhaps havign an uncle and Aunt who feel the same way had prepared me, perhaps I was able to think back to my past. My only concern waas that the family should have a funeral they need at a difficult time. I'm not sure if my views will change but at the moment I'm not angry just sad for the family. I'm sure my turn to take a funeral will come and all I want to do is do my best for God and for which ever family has sadly lost someone. On a much happier note I became a grand mother yesterday when my son and his girlfriend had a little girl. To say I'm thrilled would eb an understatement. It was strange holding this lovely little girl and looking down to see a female child looking so like my son did at a few hours old. She is beautiful and I'm looking forward to many more cuddles. I feel so blessed- to be fulfilling gods call and to be a Grand mother all in the same month. life can't get much better than this.

reflections on a dog collar.

I've now been wearing the dog collar for a week and have begun to learn what a difference it makes. people in Wirksworth were friendly before but now they stop and chat rather than just saying hello as they pass. I even had a lady in the next town stop me for a chat when I popped into the bank. But with it also comes responsibility for behaving in a certain way. I like to think that I am always calm, and polite to people. (Well I can dream) However one day last week I was shopping a supermarket without my dog collar. I was upset to have someone with a large trolley of goods from behind me in the queue, offered first place at a till which was opening. I objected and was told that I had the option of staying where I was or going to the self service till- I only had 4 items in my basket. I object to self service tills as they deprive shop workers of jobs but also there was still a large queue there anyway! I got nowhere with my objections and didn't lose my temper or anything but afterwards was left wondering whether I would have acted differently had I been wearing my dog collar. I came to the conclusion as I saw it to be a matter of justice I probably wouldn't have done anything different. but it does raise questions for me as to whether I 'change' when I don the collar! More thoughts on this as time goes on

And grace poured down

Well I made it! Sunday 10.45am in the cathedral I was ordained

a deacon in the Church of England- after 8 years of the most recent journey and after telling my mother when I was 17 that I would like to be a Vicar! Pouring down had been the theme of the retreat- literally. On Thursday morning between the Morning prayer and address and the noon Eucharist we had a cloud burst in the east of derbyshire- the result a lake in front of the gate to the church , a stream running across the path from the hotel and worse to come inside the church. in order to get in we all had to climb over the wall using chairs and stools kindly provided by those who had braved the lake and paddeld in. The scramblers included the Bishop of Repton resplendant in his purple cassock. Once inside we discovered that thelead to the vestry roof had been stolen leading to a seive like effect. Water poured in and we all began practising our diaconate ministry by emptying the vestry of everything we could- what we couldn't move got covered in plastic table cloths! It continued to rain over the following days and completed the pouring by raining as we all left the cathdral yesterday morning for the photographs. hence my rather windswept look. but nothing could dampen our spirits or our smiles- yeaterday was such a great day. And how did it feel? Through the retreat it all felt a little unreal- rather as if i would still be living in the hotel 3 weeks from now waiting for ti to happen. but then as processed into the cathedral and up the aisle in front of freinds and family I found myself very close to tears. I'd made it at last. Godhad been faithful to His calling and the church was now about to ordain me. The tears were never far away throughout the wonderfull service andthen it was pure joy as we left for the photo's and the after service party. it was also a thrill to have so many freinds there as well as relatives. The only cloud being the fact that two of my sons were iunable to get time off work to be there. However they have sent messages of support and maybe next year they can be at my priesting. now its down to work and the first full day out and about in a dog collar. I must admit so far it hasn't been at all daunting but I'm sure that will come. Thank you to all who read this blog who have prayed and encouraged me at any time- it was very much appreciated. now off to have some sleep as last night I was so full of adrenaline I only managed three hours which on top of less than normal sleep at the retreat isn't good!

It's nearly here

Just a quick last post before I disappear to pre-ordination retreat to reappear as a curate. I've started to get post addressed to the Reverand J T which is a great shock and feels very strange. Today I've packed my clothes for the retreat, including my cassock stole and surplice and my clerical shirt and dog collar! Of course at college I got used to wearing a cassock and surplice- one of the advantages of Cuddesdon where we all had regular opportunities to dress up. But this will be the first time I will have worn my shirt and collar except for trying them on! Its going to be very strange on Sunday. In the meantime their is great joy at knowing how many people are coming to the Cathedral and later to my welcome service. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone and thanking them for all their support on this long journey. Bye for now- I shall be back in my new guise!

The Kingdom of God.

I have just read this on another blog and it resonated with me : "he said that when one establishes the Kingdom of God (order, tidiness, serenity) in one's external surroundings, other things fall into place." This week has been an attempt to do just that. I've been to Mning Prayer each morning, attended a Team devolpment day for the clergy I shall be working with, also team council, I've shopped, spent a day with my sister and in between I've painted the bathroom and continued to unpack and organise. I've reached the point where the main job left to do is try and find a system of storage and filing for resources and paperwork in the study. And there I've come to a stand still. Just thinking about it sends me of to do soemthing else rather than tackle the problem. yet having read the above I know it's a task that has to be faced and dealt with before I go on retreat on Wednesday. In fact as I've to go and collect K's step mother and friend from Lncashire on Tuesday I've no choice but to face it by Monday evening. SO what am I do blogging about it you may well ask. Earlier this week the readings at morning prayer were all about he weak things being used by God. At the momnet I'm so grateful both that God does use the weak and that He reminded me of it this week. Perhaps not surprising but with the ordination week away I am feeling very weak and inadequate for the task ahead. Its been a dream for so long, something I've been working towards for 8 years and now at last its in touching distance and I'm back questioning what God is doing. yet at the same time my heart is singing an I'm so looking forward to it. Does any of that make sense? I may well not post again before the day but I shall be reflecting in my journal instead and will be back to blog the fruits of the retreat after next Sunday. In the mean time I shall work at bringing the kingdom of God into my study!

Home at last!

A week on from my last post and we are getting settled into our new home. Being in a town I lived in 30 years ago- and somewhere I have returned to for lunches and walks over the years I feel very much at home. I find myself praising God as I walk down the hill to the town centre, for His goodness in allowing me to return here. The move went incredibly smoothly, the only slight negative was the hour sat on the M42 as we travelled north, due to heavy rain and a coming togteher of two cars. However once we were up into Derbyshire we still had time to drop the cat off at the new house and collect fish and chips before arriving at my sisters. We stayed the night and then drove over to the new house and started cleaning the kitchen while we awaited the removal lorry. It duly turned up at 10.30 and we were busy until 5pm unloading all our things. It was fun being re-aquainted with so much which had been in storage. Wednesday wtarted with a visit from the Team Rector and Vicar which was lovely. I shall so enjoy working with them in this benefice. I've agreed to go to an extended staff meeting next Wednesday to start to get to know the rest of the team. The rest of the morning was spent unpacking- by the end of the day I had all ourt kitchen and living room boxes from both Cuddesdon and storage unpacked and rehomed. K had his office unpacked and put away and then spent the evening packing for his sailing adventure. Unfortuantely in the afternoon when we came to walk into the town to collect some bread and milk we discovered the suspension down on one side of the car. Consternation as we tried to get it sorted and also work out how K would get to Derby to catch the train the following morning. Fortuinately being back in Derbyshire means ready access to Landrover repair places and we carefully drove down to the one at the end of the raod. Only to find when we got there the suspension had returned to normal. We left it with them for investigation and K found the bus times for Derby. Thursday I waved goodbye to K for 17 days and spent the morning with more unpacking. Then after a wander into town for milk, paint brushes, a trip to the library, a hair appt made, and registered at the Dr's I called at the garage to find they had been unable to find anything wrong with the car and I could drive it home. Reunited with the car I drove over to Chesterfield to a large DIY store for paint and a lawn mower, and then called in on my son and his girlfriend. It is such a delight to be so near to them again, epecially as they will make me a grandmother in 6 weeks. Friday had been booked for the suite to be cleaned and the new white goods delivered. Also a joiner called round to sort out the curtain rail in our bedroom which had fallen down on Tuesday- we have been hanging a curtain from nails since. While everyone got on with the job in hand I made a start on the study. All my books are now unpacked, and I am left with deciding what extra forms of storage are needed. I can feel a trip to IKEA coming on! After the workmen had left I had a panic. The cat had been shut uinto the en suite while they were there and let out when they left. Just before the plumber arrived to fit the gas stove I went looking for her to lock her up again, only to not be able to find her. The plumber and his assistant did their work to a soundtrack of me calling Fudge every few minutes round the house and out in the gardem. After they left I heard her crying and found her behind the dish washer. She got behind it again this morning which amazed me as the gap is only about 3 inches. However I've stuffed a box down the gap for the moment to avoid having to drag it out a third time. Today has been a lazy day bit I've managed a walk into the town for more milk and to use my new vacuum cleaner on the carpet. After I've blogged its back to painting the bathroom. I'm really enjoying making this house into a home, knowing we shall be here for about 4 years. The bungalow we rented in Devon and the flat at college were great for the time we were there but somehow never quite felt like home. Now I can put my mark on this house. I'm also looking forward to welcoming so many friends and family who live close by as well as visitors from farther afield. Today the tickets arrived for my friends and family for the ordination service. Two weeks today will be our final day of retreat. I can't believe how fast the time is passing now and feel so inadequate for the job ahead. But I kow that God who has called me is faithful and that I don't need to do it on my own but as the ordination service says - by the help of God I will.