I have a friend who blogs wonderful conversations with God. She may not realise how wonderful they are but they touch me every time I read them. I struggle to know what to write sometimes- though I want to blog regularly if only to be able to read back and see how far I've come in a year. I struggle I think because I'm not always sure who I'm writing to or for. Yes its for me- but is it also for those who read. One of my intentions when I started the blog was to hope it would help others as a couple of blogs helped me when I was on the journey to BAP and theological college. My friends audience is God- she writes how she is feeling and what she wants to say to God- as a result their is a consistency and authenticity in what she writes. I'm sure that my own blogs don't have that- but does it matter. If its only really for me to look back on then I'm the audience and so what I say is just for me- or is that a selfish way of looking at blogging. In some ways I don't suppose it matters but it got me thinking this morning.
On a different note I had an email yesterday to reassure me that the offers of title posts won;t be sent out until September so now I can sit back and not worry whether the postman has been or not. Though I'm still longing to receive the letter I'm no longer worrying about when it will come.
Yesterday I took a day off from essay thoughts and writing and went for a day our with my husband to Cirencester. We had a lovely day just wandering around the town and through a park. The park had me thinking as there was a very long straight path which we walked along. We couldn't see what was at the end, and didn't know where any of the side paths might lead to. There were no sign posts and it was all new to us. WE got a way along the path having walked up hill for a while and still the path stretched on- with the gates due to be locked at 5pm and aching feet, we decided to turn back. Unless we go again we'll never know what is at the end of the path or how far it is. This journey has been a lot like that walk. I've never been sure what will be at the end of it, I've seen paths off to the side- even had to take a few, but never known what they would bring, and at times have wanted to turn back without reaching the end. however something ( someone- God?) has kept me going kept me coming back to the main path and kept me walking to the end. I'm not there yet, still don't know what will be there when I get there but God is in control and I'll keep on going.
now time to go back and write some more essays!