Six days to go

Today has continued with packing of boxes- all books are now packed along with all the resources I brought with me in case I did any children's work. I took a break to watch the Jubilee seervice at St Paul's ( you can't have too may lessons in how to preach and conduct a service!) I thought the service struck the right note of solemnity and loved the choral singing. However it didn't fill me with the same pride in being part of the Church of England as the wedding did last year. That may be in part because it was more of a solemn occasion rather than a joyful one. In the meantime I'm back to preparing to move. I suggested yesterday that I may not continue to Blog but have had a couple of comments asking me to continue. If I do I think I should change the name- I named it when I was preparing to come to college- Vicar Factory. Now I'm leaving college the title no longer makes sense. Perhaps, Vicarfactoryleaving might work. However I probably should have something a bit more consistant with my new life. any ideas?

Last week countdown!

A week today the removal vans will be here. In fact by this tme we should be back on the road to Derbyshire. We had a lovely 24 hours up in Derbyshire over the weekend. We spent friday evening with my sister and her husband which was great fun and very relaxing and then we spent Saturday in our new home. It was great to see the house empty and to be able to start to really imagine whjere things will go. As is often the case some rooms seemed smaller than I remembered, others larger. Its going to be tight sorting out a spare bedroom but we worked out how we can do it. We also measured up for washing machine, dish washer and a cooker, and then went to a local shop to order them. I was so pleaszed to be able to use the local shop and still get a good deal on prices. They are going to deliver on the friday after we move, and will also fit the goods. It is so exciting to being able to plan for and make a home. It's not felt like home for over 4 years. Now back in college we are finishing the packing. We also spent the afternoon down in Wheatley as a garden fete.Wednesday college resumes and we shall have a session on cannon law, then on Thursday its our Leavers Quiet day at a convent. Finally on Friday we shall have the Leavers service where we will be prayed for and our stoles blessed. After that college will be over and we shall say good bye to many friends and leave for our new lives. Its getting so close and I'm still not sure that I feel prepared. At the same time I'm excited and looking forward to starting my new life. I was asked last week if I would still blog- something I'm still making up my mind about.

It is Finished- wel nearly!!

Today I handed in the first draft of my dissertation. I'm hoping that it will come back with very little changes or additions needed. I have to finish the theological reflection and conclusion but otherwise I'm hoping its all going to be done by the end of next week. I've got the boxes to start packing and hope to have some time this week to do some of it. This week we have a themed study week and I've chosen to do Financial leadership. its an area I feel unprepared for and so far the course is proving a very useful and informative use of time. I finished my role as sacristan at easter but have still to co-ordinate the collges role at the Summer fete which is happening on Saturday. Another steep learning curve but we are nearly there. Life is getting very busy and it feels as if we will be moving very soon- well 5 weeks today we will have left the flat so it is coming soon! I have just received my rotas for July and August for my curacy which is exciting and daunting by equal measure, especially as I;ve been put down to be in two places at the same time on one date!!! I'm sure that this is an error and I'll be given just one to do.

Over half way there!

This will be my last post for sometime as we are awaiting the termination of our broadband agreement and won't have anything organised at the other end for a while.
Today saw more than half our earthly possesions packed into threee containers and removed to storage. Its amazing how little we can manage with over the next two years!. We had provisionally listed what we wanted to store but with space left in a container we kept looking for more and more to send rather than carry up 4 flights of stairs and fall over in a tiny flat. I have gone through periods in my life of wishing that I could get rid of everything and just live in a caravan- well I'm nearly getting my wish for the next couple of years. (To those wondering why I didn't do just that in the past it had to do with other people I lived with not having the same wish).
Now just a flurry of cleaning to do and also the final packing of clothes and kitchen goods and we will be on our way north.

A week to go

This time next week we will have arrived and be settling into our flat at Cuddesdon. After waiting so long, and starting packing 4 weeks ago it still doesn't feel real. I'm surrounded by boxes, have an almost empty freezer and food cupboard but most of me still feels as if I'll be sat here 6 months down the line. I've never experienced such a detachment for a move before. Seems even stranger when I think about how long this has been my dream- but perhaps that's the problem it has been a dream for so long that it still feels like a dream.
I'm also beginning to wonder how I'll cope with morning prayer 5 days a week at 7.30am. I remember when at Teacher training college a few of us from the CU set out to meet every morning at 7am for prayer- we kept it up for 2 years although not every one of us made every morning. Then again 30 years later I'm supposed not to need as much sleep so hopefully I'll make it every morning!

New experience

Went to have my hair cut today. As we are going away at the weekend I had suddenly decided I needed to get it cut and so just went round town until I found a hairdresser with a space to fit me in. I explained I was moving soon and so wanted it cut fairly short so that if I was busy it would be a while before it needed cutting again. that led to questions about where and why I was moving. I explained about going to study and said it was to be a vicar. This led to the lady who was cutting my hair sharing about the death of her baby daughter some years ago and her own anger with God. It was a taste I think of what is to come. I've had conversations about God before but usually only after I've got to know hairdressers etc.
On the home front we are getting to the end of all but the pots etc that we will be using over the next two weeks along with clothes. It feels strange, I keep looking for more things to pack. Glad we are going back up to Derbyshire this week to meet with the DDO and to visit friends and sister before starting college. It will be a welcome break from the mess at home and I always love going to the church back in Chesterfield.
Two weeks today we will have arrived at Cuddesdon!!

Time flies by!!

Had a bit of a jolt yesterday when I commented that in 4 weeks we would be settling into our first night in college flat and hubby said "don;t be daft it's three weeks!" Where did the last 4 weeks go? We took a day off from packing yesterday and after collecting 15 more boxes from.our removal firm wandered on to Topsham to spend a few hours. It was lovely to forget about the packing and spend quality time together as this last couple of weeks have been spent mainly in different rooms. My hubby and I get in each others way ( or I get in his) if we try to work together at the packing so we take a room each. Good news is that I've now packed the last book- that's 9 boxes of books for me and hubby has packed a similar number.
Feeling quite down at first today, I think it was probably waking up and wondering how I was going to get all phone calls made sorting out keys, insurance, cancelling utilities etc before we arrange to end our phone contract. Decided in the end to let it run longer which relieved the pressure but I think the enormity of the next few weeks is catching up with me. I've waited and looked forward to this for 6 long years but now it's almost here I'm feeling inadequate and weak. Best place to be I expect because only then will I acknowledge that I can only be what God wants me to be with His help.
Oh well off to more arranging of details and packing.

Reflections as I pack.

Life this week has been pretty mundane- packing box after box of my life- trying to decide what to store and what to take with us. Of course everything takes ages as I find long lost letters, cards, magazines etc and have to stop and read them.
An ex work colleague who is also packing and moving has been posting on Facebook about having a 'come and take away party', of selling things on ebay and sending loads to charity shops. I admire her ability to do this. Part of me longs to just give it all away, to move unfettered by so much 'stuff', but my husband is adamant that we hang on to moct things as when we move again in 2 years ( and again 4 years later) we may find a place for them and a use. I have put aside at least a dozen glasses that we really don't need and a pile of bowls to go to a charity shop. Will do the same with my clothes later.
At the same time as packing I'm finding it hard to really believe that in less than 6 weeks I will have started college, met new people and be living in a very different place to here. It all seems to be like a dream happening to someone else. I wonder if the fact that its nearly 6 years since I started walking this path that makes it feel like that.
The friends who visited the other day have just finished theological college. When I first approached my Rector to share what I believed God was saying he mentioned that there was someone else in the church considering whether God was calling him. It was a year later before I learned who the person was and a year after that when P approached the DDO. He then went for a BAP and started college within the year. He was very concerned when he had to tell me he'd been accepted knowing that I had been made to wait three years due to my remarriage. I was thrilled for P, and still am, that God had called him and he had been faithful. I also know that I have changed and have learned an awful lot in the 6 years of waiting so I am sure I am better prepared now than I was. but that wait has made it feel as if its always going to be over the horizon.
In some ways I am reminded of Moses and the Israelites wandering in the wilderness for 40 years- and Moses didnst get to go into the promised land when they got there! But for the Israelites who had heard over and over how God had led them out of Egypt to take them to a promised land and finally they got there! I wonder if they really dared believe that this is it. Well they did make it into the promised land and I know I am going to make it to Theological College and to the life God has called me to follow.